Self-esteem is all about the personal value you put on yourself. It’s so much easier to ask others to tell you how marvellous you are, but that’s only has superficial value. The true value comes from how you feel about yourself.
Self-esteem is one of the biggest life challenges many of us face. Even when you spend years nurturing it and building it up; it only takes a moment of self-doubt to break the spell. One instance of bad luck or vicious criticism can see your self-confidence disappear and your self-esteem come crashing down. That’s how fragile self-esteem is until you build real confidence.
Once you develop real self-confidence you’re better able to take some of life’s knocks and blows. They may still sting but they won’t cripple your fragile self-esteem. This alone is a very good reason to make self-confidence one of your goals.
Self-confidence can’t stop you stumbling but it won’t allow you to hit the depths of despair. Think of self-esteem like a car crash. With self-esteem you may have a small dent. Without self-esteem the damage may be significant, or even unrepairable.
Most of us are stronger and capable of more than we think, so keep your self-esteem as high as possible. Learn to accept and then love the real you. You’re here and living this life for a reason. The creator’s intention was never to make any of us perfect as then we’d have nothing to learn.
Here are the five stages of accepting and loving the real you:
Stage 1: Accept that you are who you are. You can set about changing the aspects of you that you don’t like, but your core is the real you
Stage 2: Take time to reflect on the good, neutral and less appealing aspects of you. Only by being honest and accepting that you’re a combination of these can you learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. You can’t gain self-confidence or self-esteem while you’re in conflict with yourself
Stage 3: Create a safe place where you can really be you. Identify what you stand for and don’t allow yourself to be browbeaten by stronger personalities. When you stand up for what matters to you your confidence will blossom
Stage 4: Love all of you; even the unlovable parts. This is probably the hardest stage for most of us. Of course it’s important to recognise these unattractive elements of your character; otherwise you can’t change them. This stage is about accepting that you’re not perfect and nurturing yourself as you address you less attractive traits
Stage 5: Make you a priority. If you have self-esteem issues then you’re probably right at the bottom of your priority list. This will always hamper your chances of developing self-esteem. Move yourself to the top of your priority list and you’ll be in a stronger place to help others
Music is like nothing else. It has the power to transport your emotions and memories through time and space. How often has a certain song left an imprint on your mind? There’s a line in ‘Masterpiece’ by Jessie J that does that to me: “I still fall on my face sometimes and I can’t colour inside the lines cause I’m perfectly incomplete I’m still working on my masterpiece”. If you would like a helping hand to work on the masterpiece that is you please visit my website – http://shepherdcreativelearning.co.uk/coaching/
Until the next time…