Don’t be fooled into believing self-confidence is only projected by the way you speak. Often people assume if you sound plummy then you’re brimming with self-confidence. Equally people frequently assume if you speak with a strong local dialect then you must lack self-confidence. Neither of these are correct.
Communication is a verbal and non-verbal activity. Speaking self-confidence is exactly the same. You tell people that you’re confident in the following ways:
1. Your behaviour. Confident people are assertive, not aggressive or passive
2. Your body language. Think posture, eye contact, head up, and not crossing your arms in a defensive manner
3. Your tone of voice. Confident people don’t shout or mumble. They speak at an appropriate level for the audience and their surroundings
4. Your choice of words. Confident people don’t feel the need to choose words that suggest they’re trying to pick an argument or outsmart others. Have the confidence to choose words that suit the person you’re talking to. No one likes being talked down to
If you’re genuinely confident these four elements work together and give the impression of someone who is ‘very together’. Confidence is a beautiful language, and we can all learn to speak it.
Here are seven indicators of confidence. Read each statement and decide which ones describe you:
1. I’m comfortable doing what feels right for me, even if others mock or criticise me – Yes/No
2. I’m willing to take ‘considered’ risks – Yes/No
3. I’m willing to go the extra mil to make things better (for myself and others), even if this means stepping outside my comfort zone – Yes/No
4. I’m comfortable admitting my mistakes and learning from them, rather than beating myself up – Yes/No
5. I recognise and appreciate all my achievements (big or Small) – Yes/No
6. I accept compliments graciously – Yes/No
7. I’m comfortable in giving others genuine praise as I recognise that we all benefit from a little nurturing – Yes/No
How did you get on? Were your answers mostly yes or no? Look at the statements again and choose one of your ‘No’ answers. Now create a mini goal that you can do in the next week. When you’ve achieved this mini goal know that you’ve given your self-confidence a boost. Now reward yourself in some way.
Developing your self-confidence is a lifelong journey but it doesn’t need to be onerous or painful. I’m very pleased to report that I’ve just launched The Self-confidence Academy, and the first batch of programmes are now available. If you would like to dip your toe in the water before deciding to buy, then here’s a link to the first programme in the series – http://bit.ly/2mlYfl7
My final thought goes to an unknown writer. “Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are, and aren’t, that you will truly succeed”. I hope you succeed in speaking the language of confidence.
Until the next time…